Any time we go to Costco, it feels like we’re making big life choices.
Especially if we go as a family.
I love going with them. I want to say that first, because of where this is headed.
But I’ve noticed something over the last few years, and I’ve stopped pretending it’s a coincidence.
We spend more when we all go.
Not a little more. Meaningfully more.
Some of that is Costco doing exactly what Costco is good at. The aisles are laid out to inspire you. You walk in for paper towels and somewhere between the front doors and the back wall, you start seeing a version of your life you hadn’t thought about that morning.
Oh — that would be great for the backyard.
We could actually use that in the kitchen.
And then the kids chime in.
The RC boat. The extra-large Tetris set. Some snack that apparently was just invented and can’t wait until next time.
It all adds up.
The part I keep thinking about
Here’s what got my attention.
It wasn’t the total at the bottom of the receipt.
It was realizing how responsive my spending can be to what’s happening around me.
Who I’m with.
What kind of mood we’re in.
Whether we’re rushing or exploring.
Whether somebody else is excited about something.
Sometimes we set strong boundaries. It feels like we’re saying no a hundred times in an hour.
Other times we look down and realize the cart is fuller than usual.
Because here’s the thing — we’re all emotional spenders. Some of us are just better at hiding it. And there’s a limit to how many times you can say no to the cookies before somebody cracks.
Sometimes it’s the kids.
Sometimes it’s me.
So we tried changing the environment
Sometimes now we use Instacart for the Costco order instead.
There’s a fee for that. And I notice it every single time.
But compared to what we might spend on a few extra things with the whole family in the store?
It’s often a wash.
Sometimes we come out ahead.
This is not an ad for Instacart.
Nobody’s paying me. I’m not endorsing anything. And I’m definitely not telling you to stop taking your family to Costco.
We still go. It’s fun — especially when we’re in the mood to explore. That’s worth something too.
I’m not trying to eliminate those moments. I just like understanding what’s influencing the choice.
And Costco is probably the least interesting part
If we pause for a moment and look for our own patterns, most of us will find a few.
Once I noticed mine at Costco, I started seeing it everywhere.
We spend differently when we’re with friends.
We spend differently when the kids are with us.
We spend differently on vacation.
We spend differently when we’re celebrating.
Or tired.
Or stressed.
Or feeling generous.
Or feeling like we’ve worked really hard and deserve something.
We might spend differently in a store than we do online.
We spend differently at 10:00 in the morning than we do scrolling on the couch at 10:00 at night.
Different when there’s $500 in the checking account than when there’s $5,000 — even if the thing we’re considering buying hasn’t changed at all.
None of that makes a decision good or bad.
It just means there’s often more influencing a money choice than we realize in the moment.
I’m not sure we need to fix that
My first instinct with almost anything involving money is to ask:
Okay, so what should we do about it?
But maybe everything we notice about ourselves doesn’t immediately need a solution.
Maybe sometimes the value is simply in seeing it.
If going to Costco with my family means we usually spend a little more, I don’t necessarily need to stop going.
Maybe I decide the extra-large Tetris set is completely unnecessary.
Maybe I decide it’s going to be a lot of fun in the backyard and we’ll play it for years.
Either way, I’d rather understand what’s happening than move through the decision without noticing it.
Something to notice this week
My goal in sharing this is simply to encourage you to notice.
The next time you buy something you hadn’t planned on, don’t rush to decide whether it was smart or silly.
Just ask what was going on when you said yes.
You don’t have to fix any of it. Just notice.
There isn’t one right answer to the Costco question.
Maybe your family loves wandering the aisles together and spending a little more is part of the fun.
Maybe you’d rather order ahead and skip the temptation.
Maybe you do both.
I don’t think the interesting question is whether any of those are right or wrong.
I think the interesting question is: what was influencing the choice?
Just noticing that can teach you a lot about yourself.
And it’s a genuinely good thing to talk about with your kids, because they’re already developing their own patterns around money whether we talk about them or not.
And for the record, we still don’t own the extra-large Tetris set.
Yet.
— Tony
If you’d like to start having conversations like this with your kids — I put together 10 Money Questions That Get Teens Thinking. No lecture, no worksheet, just good questions you can ask in the car or over dinner, with follow-ups and reframes for each one. Pick one tonight, ask it, and give them room to think.